The Root Canal Treatment

The other day I had a dentist appointment at 12:30pm, I was super late as most days, and in my shower, which was around 11:55am, I missed a call on purpose from the dentist, only to avoid the conversation of my punctuality. Nevertheless, I got another call, which I answered and to my surprise I was requested to come an hour late for the appointment. Feeling happy I got back even more lazy to my shower. Then I stopped for a moment to think, this was a gift I got for which I should be thankful to the universe. I didn’t pray for it, I didn’t ask for it, I was only hoping that I would be on time for my appointment. The catch here is, I didn’t consciously question or doubt my hope with realistic parameters that how exactly I would succeed in being on time to the appointment. So, if we try to understand how my hope to be on time was manifested in reality, irrespective of the time duration restraint I had, is very simple. Whatever we ask or wish for, without questioning the process, we will receive it in ways that is not under our power of comprehension. And why I say to be thankful, is only because to let the universe know that we have received its gift and we appreciate it and would want more of gifts. If we are not grateful for our gifts we wouldn’t be receiving more of it. Gratitude is important to keep them coming.

Now why of all the gifts I have received in my life, is this dentist appointment so important. It was for quite a long time I have been fighting a battle of my own. Trying to filter and understand what is right and wrong as per people I love. Few years ago, a ‘wise man’ once told me, “Saturn is transitioning! The coming 7.5 years of your life are very critical, tread carefully, expect low success and satisfaction or almost none if possible and blah blah blah”. I have never been a cynic when it came to faith. I had always received things I had wished for quite easily, I have had a lively childhood with a beautiful and supportive family, a smooth and fun academic background, and all things good. I tried to ignore whatever the person had sincerely said with the best of his intentions. Even though this was negligible negativity that sneaked its way in my life, it was still toxic enough to eat me hollow with time. Somewhere in the back of my mind I started questioning the process of receiving the gifts, I was silly enough to try to comprehend the power of the universe, which was definitely way beyond human understanding. This toxic feeling fed on my light and positivity and made me believe in a wrong faith. It got embedded in my head, that I have to struggle to get somewhere, nothing is going to come easy to me. I started believing that I have to keep my expectations low from my professional and personal goals. It was only a matter of time until I realised how deep I got caught in the quicksand of negativity and darkness. Somehow, I wasn’t able to understand how I got there, because unlike a lot other people I didn’t have trouble believing, I did not doubt my faith. I just ended up believing in the wrong things, I started giving the power of faith to the struggles of life and to the low satisfaction levels. Now coming back to the importance of the dentist. I have been seeking for help from the universe to guide me to a solution for whatever was holding me back, from being my best self. This dentist incident was the much-needed realisation, which came out of nowhere, when I stopped questioning, when I just let it be.

“Every cloud has a silver lining” John Milton

This realisation helped me understand something I did, which I should have done differently, that would have ensured my better mental and emotional health. I tried to ignore the opinion the ‘wise man’ had about my ‘Sade Sati’. What I did wrong was push the negative thought away, so that I don’t have to deal with it, whereas I should have faced it head on and questioned its credibility. All along, before that day, I believed I created my future, and just on the basis of someone’s words I started having different beliefs about my future. Mathematically comprehending the timeline of this incident, it was around October or November 2014 when I came across this ‘soothsaying’, according to the ‘wise man’ these transitioning years were from the start of 2012 to mid of 2019. Let’s give a thought to the fact that, if all of these Saturn filled years were supposed to be my tough times, then how come my time from 2012 to end of 2014 was perfectly the way I wanted them to be? It was only because my faith and belief about my future had changed, my times also changed. What was going smooth and easy, all of the sudden became a struggle, no matter what effort I put into things, I would reap very less or almost no benefit. This was such an ongoing toxicity that I started believing that I couldn’t live up to my goals. This belief of not achieving success made me stop setting goals, made me stop putting efforts. I was going through struggles, and tough times only because I believed that I deserved struggles, and tough times.

Now that I have had this realisation, you must be thinking, I must have figured it all out and I’m brimming with happiness and success! Well, no I haven’t figured it all out. Today, as I write this piece as a healing process of my own, I should mention that It was only less than a week ago, that my dentist’s assistant called me to postpone the appointment. Now the real work starts, it took me more than a couple of years to mess up my peace of mind and make this toxicity my routine so much so that I kept finding faults in others and kept correcting others, kept getting disappointed by others that I forgot that it was all me from the beginning of time. I received all the happiness in my life because I had believed that I deserved happiness. I received all the grief and disappointment only because my beliefs were in line with it, no one else was to be blamed but me. It is going to take time and effort, but re-tuning my brain is important. I know I deserve to be successful and happy, and I have it in my power to attract success and happiness from the universe. It’s all mine for the taking. All I need to do is ask and have faith it will find its way into my life!